Urraca: Cesar Torres’ blog on writing

I am getting close, so close, to that readable draft of “Carapace,” kids.

When I wrote the first draft, my soundtrack was almost completely  made up by Ladytron’s “Velocifero.” Whatever the connection between bugs and witchy synthbots from England, I am not sure, but it fuckin’ worked. I finished the draft.

So now I am in re-writes, and the soundtrack is different. There’s no Ladytron on the playlist. I haven’t posted a music post in a while, so it’s time to talk about what I am listening to as I clean up, delete, add and re-write.

The Horrors’ “Sea Within A Sea.” These guys remind me so much of My Bloody Valentine and early Jesus and Mary Chain.

VNV Nation. I wasn’t too familiar with these guys six months ago, and I don’t know exactly why. With my penchant for darkwave and electro, how the hell didn’t I grab on to these guys? Fantastic, poetic lyrics, pounding synth lines and beats. Check their whole library out. Today I am only linking to one of their new tracks, “Sentinel.”

I’ve dug out Shirley Manson from the vault. Again. I hate some of these YouTube homemade videos, but whoever put together this remixed/live version of “Dumb,” did a good job. Great track, cool lyrics. I think heavy pounding of the synths seems to be a theme here…

Fever Ray’s self titled album. Not as much pounding, but it has so much sinister atmosphere it will swallow you whole. They have a new video for “Triangle Walks.” Oh yeah, the remixes, as always, are also pretty decent.

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These updates are becoming shorter and shorter. That is fine. Why? Because I am on summer break. I have been running on fifth gear for about a year and I need to allow my engine to go back to neutral. Shit, I should just turn the engine off and walk for a while.

Maybe I will do that.

Here’s the writerly happenings:

• Working on “Carapace” rewrites using Scrivener. I am trying to relax on my deadline lately. I want to enjoy the rewriting process, though I am eager for feedback.
• My short stores “12 Burning Wheels” and “Hybridae” are both coming soon to Scribd. You heard it here first. Hybridae will be offered on its own, since The Willows is now out of print. The “Wheels” will be one single package. Each will have a nice cover with illustrations and dazzling typography. I have enlisted some nice artist friends to help me with illustrations. This makes me excited, lovers! I am still determining pricing. You will love my sweet deal.  If I were using Twitter this summer, I’d be talking a bunch of shit about this all day long.
• I only have preliminary sketches done so far for my new project. I need a code name for it.
• I am recharging my battery the best way I can: cycling and running lots outside, listening to really good music (next week I’ll plug Fever Ray and The Horrors a bit), eating good foods, connecting with friends, reading lots of books, and staying away from the stresses of the academic year, work life and the ol’ drone zone routine.

My house, like most, has various spiders. Round yellow-mottled ones, tiny red ones, and one like the one below. Black and fast. I never kill spiders because they kill the other bugs I don’t want. So I leave you with a short clip of the spider at my windowsill at home as I dive back into the insectile twists and turns of  ”Carapace.”

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Here’s the update from the city of mechanized madness:

• I will be getting  some additional feedback from another reader on my first novel. Big hooray.
• “Carapace” re-writes are almost ready. I made some cuts, rearranged chapters, and now I am doing cleanup. I can be a messy worker sometimes.
• I am sketching out notes for my third novel project. In many instances, I am actually sketching on paper. I don’t have a working title for it yet, though.
• I’m continuing to query.
• The Twitter vacation is on! If you want to find me in the digital caverns of the ultra-world, it will be via this blog. You can send me an email here.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Scribd recently. So has behemoth publishing house Simon & Schuster.

I have a question for you, Reader. If I packaged my short stories “The 12 Burning Wheels” into a nice little PDF with nice font stylings and proper formatting, how much would you pay for them? Two dollars? Three? Remember, these would be an all-digital version you can read on your iPhone or print out at home.  I would still keep them free on my blog, but you could pick up the set (without typos and with fancy letters and a bird logo or two). I would even throw in a bonus story as added value. Your comments will help me decide.

How much would you pay for my twelve stories? Please tell me how much and why in your comments below.

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First of all, let me say IAMX was a fun, fun, fun show. Subterranean is a cool venue, matchbox-sized, and perfectly set up for maximum music enjoyment. IAMX spit out his chameleon lyrics in a  gritty, loud performance, and he swaggered like nobody’s business. It was a heaven for electro sluts like me. Check out these awesome photos of the show at Scene-There. There was, however, one big drawback: That skinny fucker Chris Corner lip synched the whole show. It didn’t destroy the magic of it all, but it sure dented it.

The concert was a real highlight of a pretty stellar weekend. I finished my final, folks.  Summer fun begins now. I also reconnected with a great friend Saturday; It’s amazing how some first-rate company with a solid gold person can do for one’s spirits. I’m finding joy again, like I told you Gentle Readers before. Slowly but surely, I am resolidifying, Like Jell-O, or a clot of blood. Or maybe blood-flavored Jell-O? YUM. Sometimes you find joy in new ways, in different angles. Sometimes it makes you even come up with metaphors that feature edible body fluids. Nice.

In other news, I am preparing to share “Carapace” with first readers soon.

But here’s the real biggie: An idea for my next novel has germinated. I’ve had a few images stuck in my head for weeks, but something more concrete hit home yesterday, out of the blue. Fuck, time to start writing! I have to take advantage of not being in school this summer. I guess weekly word counts will soon be spilling into these weekly entries. I gotta max out the time I have before classes start back up again in September.

New. Book. Idea. I am so excited I could burst.

IAMBLOODJELLO.

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Well, my summer travels continue. I’ve got my sunblock, my bags packed, compass at the ready.

Where am I going? I’m not sure yet. It’s possible this trip is mostly an internal one, where I dig deep at my consciousness, see what this writing fool with a bird fetish is all about. Maybe it’s the trip where you, Gentle Reader, turn to the person sitting next to you and say , “Bitch, this ain’t nothing but his pre-mid life crisis.” In either case, I am taking a lot of time off from technology, blogging lightly, thinking deeply. And as always, living. I am trying to find things that are beautiful and figure out why they are so. It also means I am doing a lot of reading that I haven’t had as much time for as I do now. My reading travels this summer include journeys through Imajica, Middle Earth, Russia (via the Brothers Karamazov), Thomas Jefferson’s colonial America, more.

But listen, let’s lighten up already, my seedlings. For those of you that would like to read through my 12 stories I just wrote, you can now find them in the online fiction area. I am titling them  “The 12 Burning Wheels,” to tie them up neatly. Please read and  enjoy.

And since I am compressing my usual weekly blog posts into one single nugget, I am adding the usual music clip to this weeks’ post. Thoroughly underrated, kind of unknown (despite creating the Sneaker Pimps in the 90’s), and deliciously sleazy and androgynous, I present:

IAMX:

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Fantasy metaphors abound in these territories lately.

Things are about to change in this here blog for a few months. Rest assured, change is a good thing, Gentle Readers. If it weren’t for change, we wouldn’t have adulthood. A world without change would be a world without butterflies, a world without birds’ radiant plumage, a world without mountain ranges and coral reefs. So I must change, too. Of course, the impetus for metamorphosis is coming at me from various areas of my life, as usual. Let’s see how this is all shaking down.

Grad school is kicking my ass in the most pleasant way, but I can assure you, I will be glad to be on summer break. I have about two weeks to go, and then I’m done with HCI 454, which has been challenging and stimulating. There are still machinations of working on some sort of independent study during the break, but details are not firm. However, summer will be my time to recharge batteries and take a small rest from what has been a pretty busy year. I am glad to be delving deeper into this practice and study of HCI, and I need to decide where I want to take it as I go through the masters program. It’s not too early to think about it.

Then, there is my inner self, which is undergoing change, too. And it’s a good thing. Last time I felt fluctuations like these were when I both came and went from Japan, as well as the work I put into my work with the Neo-Futurists in 2006. At around that time I also made a slight career shift from newspaper work to a hybrid of information architect and content strategist. I got serious about finishing my first novel. I am not sure how I did all those exactly, but before I knew it, I was onto them.

So, let’s look at my present, then. I am currently assessing where my priorities lie, what is important to me. Who I am at the age of 34. Where I want to go. And going, is the key word here. I am drawing a mental map for myself that is not unlike charting a course through Clive Barker’s “Imajica.” And you know what? I know I have a compass somewhere in my bag. The little fucker is in there, though I had forgotten it for a moment. As I go through the five dominions, I will experience change and see new creatures and landscapes unlike the previous others.

I may mention at this moment that I am re-reading “Imajica,” which I read 18 years ago when I met Clive Barker at a book signing. It’s a book that signals change for me, and it’s a comfort to walk with Gentle through its beautiful/grotesque realms. And thus, it serves as a metaphor for change in my life, as well.

So, starting this week, I am taking the Urraca blog down to summer hours. This means I will make one meaningful post a week instead of aiming for two or three. I will also upload pictures more often, since it’s easy to do so while I’m on the go.

Also, I am almost done with “Carapace” rewrites. Then I am taking some time off from writing, a good three weeks of writing vacation. Hip hip, hooray. I plan to start a new novel-length project in late July, so keep your eyes and ears posted.

While I do this, I will continue to Tweet. I also encourage you to post your comments to this here pamphlet as I put in my weekly written update. However, in the next few weeks I will need to be weary of the culture of distraction, of the temptations that digital technologies offer up to me, like a certain ring we all have read about. I am going through a period of change, in a stage of flux, and I know I can push through it. Mental traps, those thoughts that threaten to keep me in dark places, are to be conquered. If the Elven Queen Galadriel can, I can too.

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Yes, she walked right on top of the audience, y’all. I can’t say it enough times: This woman is a top-notch performer. A pro. In 90 minutes she summoned the spirit of Patti Smith, Kiss, the Sex Pistols, Bjork, Prince. Here’s a clip from Friday’s Peaches show at the Metro.

On Thursday I had a conversation with an old colleague from my newspaper days about the short stories I kicked out recently. I was so happy to get input and feedback. She’s a keen, keen editor, though. She found some problems with language in them. Of course. And I’m glad.  We don’t get better without feedback.

Today it’s Memorial Day, and the day feels mellow inside my house. It feels quiet, too. I don’t have anywhere to be except in this chair, working on my HCI homework and “Carapace” rewrites. They’re going okay so far. I am not feeling the huge momentum of other novel rewrites, but what are you going to do? You just have to push and get the thing done, read by first readers, then go back and work on it some more.

In July I want to start a new novel-length project. However, I plan to give myself a break before doing so. A few weeks off from the fiction engine does a boy good. It will open time for more reading, some preliminary research, living. 

I’m getting some nice comments on my 12 micro stories. If you have read them and want to share your thoughts with me, please do so. 

So for now I go back to the old typewriter and work on my stories of insects.

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A strange vision this morning, half buried in the fog of waking, or perhaps emerging into the air of dreaming, I’m not sure which:

I was standing in front of a place that was vast and wide, a panorama so deep that my eyes would need a lifetime to capture all its detail. I could see the most beautiful towers, built in amazing detail with long windows and sleek turrets, rising into the air. They were skyscrapers of singular, cold beauty. Beneath them, vast fields of what looked like grass (which looked soft to the touch), stirred in the breeze. Rolling hills surrounded the towers. Though I could see roughly a dozen buildings in this small valley, somehow I knew it wasn’t a city. In fact, it looked deserted. The strangest part of the dream was that every blade of grass, every brick and window, every single spire, turret, doorway and gate of this vista was made of orange and red fire. Every material and element in this world was made of flames. It didn’t feel scary, but it felt palpable, as if I could touch every surface of fire it and it would feel solid under my hand.

So how about that, huh?

Perhaps I need to download Machina onto my iPhone to figure out what the dream means. I can tell you, though, the scene was gorgeous, dripping in detail, dense. I loved it!

So what do we have coming up? A long holiday weekend. There’s lots of fun to be had, and the downtime that is coming my way will feel oh oh so good. However, a worker ant’s work is never done. I will spend Friday morning working on rewrites of Carapace (after a long workout). I also have homework due for school (design patterns and wireframes), so you can expect me to be quite busy at the cafe. However, I am working on this upfront so I can go live the hell out of my weekend. The sun’s warming up nicely today, and I can tell there’s going to be lots of zipping about in thesundrenchedbreezytechcybersine-waveblackbluegrilloutswimswimnightdiscoboogierubbertastic world. I will also try to give myself some mental rest (via sleep and some solid runs)  to recover and move forward in all areas of life. On a small sidenote, it looks like I may be starting up some sort of independent study already in my master’s program with some colleagues. I am super thrilled about this. I hope it comes to fruition.

I haven’t posted music here in a while, don’t know what the hell happened. But since Peaches and IML are arriving in Chicago at the same time, here we go. The teaches of Peaches:

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I reached a milestone this week. I set out to write a single short story every day, for twelve days. And I did it. Sometimes the story posted in the ayem, sometimes in the peeyum. But I posted each one within a twenty-four hour cycle. I encourage you to comment on the stories, please. It would mean the world to me.

This feels like a HUGE accomplishment for me. And it is a huge accomplishment. I have completed novel manuscripts before, but generating more than 10,000 words and 12 stories in 12 days feels great.

It was hard to think that I would be able to balance grad school, my day job, family and friends and my love life in this time. Oh yeah, and my fitness geekery. Don’t forget I need lots of time for silly socks, nasty-looking stretches and excessive sweat. I needed to focus on the task of writing new copy, and I did it. Each day was different, but the 12-day cycle feels like I embarked on some type of adventure. The last 12 days were a series of hills and valleys: Some had nothing to do with the fiction, while other events informed it in some way (that I may not even be aware of). The point is, however, completing the task.

Incidentally, I just read earlier today this really balanced New York magazine piece titled “In Defense of Distraction,” written by Sam Anderson, which I encourage you to read. And I mean read it as soon as possible. After you read my blog post, of course. Or maybe not. Maybe you can multitask the whole thing. Or can you?

That’s the whole point of Sam Anderson’s story. He looks at the massive impact technologies like mobile devices, computers and the Internet itself are making to our cognitive abilities. Of course, you are reading my blog post about this topic, so it’s safe to assume you get the benefit of some of this new digital media and the culture of distraction. However, I do have to say that for those of us that like to have productivity in our lives, making it so is not always easy. So I wrote my 12 stories. And I also went to the gym, I ran, I cooked dinner and I even had time to go to the movies and attend an out-of-state graduation.

How can you also write your own fiction amidst all the clutter and distraction of our modern life? Here’s how:

• Dial down all the noise in your life. I took a hard look at places that were generating a lot of “noise” and NOT contributing to my productivity. Facebook came right up to the top. Seriously. Hours spent in front of a screen looking at pictures of dogs belonging to people I mildly despise? Getting low-level passive aggresive messages from acquaintances? Entertaining myself over people’s photos that seem tragic, while not really understanding that my own page and photos may look tragic to them? Oh, look. I just lost FOUR HOURS. Oh hell to the nah. The time wasting is of importance, but the fact that there are built-in pressures from people on the SMS on my phone, in voice mail, in email and in real time means some of the noise from people needs to be filtered. I did something radical. I deactivated my account. I haven’t looked back since. I also postponed a few social activities, and sadly, put some house chores on hold. My house is a mess right now, but keep on reading to see the benefits below. I took a Twitter vacation. When I did so, my writing sessions became more productive, focused. You can really quit any of these services if you choose.
• In our  multitasking society, use small chunks of time to write. I found time to write anywhere I could get it. I was a time-o-philiac. I wrote my short stories tapping them out on an iPhone on a bus, during lunch breaks, early in the morning and late at night. I prioritized my time to devote it to my creepy stories.
• Focus on doing, and avoid fraud talk. I avoided talking or writing about my short stories or about writing my short stories. The point is that readers should read them. I am happy to discuss them once they are up, but before they published on the blog, I just had to shut the fuck up and write them. Sometimes people who only talk about writing get no actual writing done. Don’t be one of those people.
• Have a plan. I prepped myself. I had no outlines, no plans for any of the micro-fictions I wrote. A few days before I started however, I did jot down some brainstorm ideas for one or two-word titles. I numbered them from 1 to 12, and I worked off those titles each day to get my creative mind cooking.
• Don’t be scared! While writing, I did not look back, and I didn’t question my judgment. I knew that taking action, moving forward with my virtual pen and creativity, would win out. It really is like having a baby. You can’t hold the wet little red thing until it’s popped out of you. Pop your story out. Write all your story out. Don’t worry about revisions or your merits as a writer. Focus on getting your story told.

That’s it. Those are the ways you can do this, too. And remember, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WRITE.

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The following micro story is the twelfth in a series of twelve, each of which is being written within a 24-hour cycle. Your feedback is encouraged and welcome.

Machina
Cesar Torres

Home>App Store>Productivity>Machina

Machina
Category: Productivity
Released: October 3, 2015
Seller: LionDen Software, 2015
LionDen Software
5.0 MB

$0.99 BUY APP

APPLICATION DESCRIPTION

Meet Machina, the revolutionary app for the iPhone, iGlass, iMist and iPod Touch (versions 6.0 and 7.0), the portable version of the popular software package Deus Ex Machina. All the power of modern prophecy and dream interpretation are now available in the palm of your hand. Simply speak your recollections of your dream out loud into the device, and Machina will immediately capture the soul exhalations and spiritual nuances, processing your dream data within seconds. Machina is backward- and forward-compatible, allowing you to interpret dreams about the past and those that forecast events that are yet to come. Whenever Machina can gather enough detail, it renders a Quicktime version of your dream to watch and review. If you’ve ever need to keep omens handy and accessible, you’ve found the right app.

FEATURES:

• Your own individual road map showing you mappings of your dreams, and where on the timeline of your life their prophecies materialize (99% accuracy).
• Customizable interfaces with multiple faith support: Christian, Judaic, Islamic, Buddhist, Wiccan, Universalist, Pagan and Non-denominational.
• Instant shareability of dream interpretation and prophecy onto Facebook and other social channels.
• “Disperse” function to eject your omen into the spiritual ether (despite recent controversies over this feature, we have brough it back. You may disable in the preferences panel).
• Special adult-only mode for dreams of a sexual nature is available. (Parental controls available in Settings).
• Full synchronization with iWork documents and Google Docs.
• Dream interpretations can be exported as spoken word, word processing documents or abstract photographs of the human dream brain.

Languages: English, Spanish, French, Japanese, Aramaic, Hebrew, Chinese, Arabic, Greek.

Note: Machina does not support the interpretation of nightmares. The system will save recordings of nightmares but not process the data. Consult your physician if you are experiencing any difficulties breathing, loss of vision, or excessive bleeding. Machina is not supported inside places of worship; Damage may occur to your device if you run the app while inside a temple or church. LionDen is not responsible for broken equipment or data loss. Use at your own risk.

CUSTOMER REVIEWS
144 Reviews
Write your own review

★★★
“I may as well sleep around for a while now — Machina said my dream of a human heart filled with worms means that I will find true love and marry during an international trip on the eve of my 27th birthday. With three years left to go, I know I can safely rely on one night stands to satisfy my needs for now.”

★
“I doubt this app works. I keep dreaming that the human race is collectively dreaming, building a city made of reeds and insect legs, like Tokyo if Cronenberg built it. The fucking app tells me there’s some sort of Dream Collector coming to claim human consciousness in about 200 years. Looks like a cross between a buffalo and a circus freak. Hell if I know what that means. I just wanted to know if I was going to win the lottery since I dreamt about so much green, you know?”

★★★★★
“I have been dreaming of a maze made of mirrors for as far back as I can remember. I am 72 now, and it wasn’t until I tried Machina that I realized that the maze is not leading toward the exit, but further into itself. As I’ve gotten older my agoraphobia has intensified, and in turn, the dream gets more intense. Toward the center of the labyrinth I hear the snorting and bellow of a Minotaur. Machina helped me understand the Minotaur will one day own me.”

★★
“I fucking hate Windoze. APPL4EVA”

★★★★
“Best app ever. I have dreamt of my grandmother’s death a couple of times in the past month. Machina said it meant good things were coming, and it’s true. Got a promotion and my wife told me she’s pregnant. Just as predicted. Get this app now. Gramma’s still kicking, too ”

★★★
“I keep dreaming my wife is cheating on me. It’s so vivid that the line between waking and dreaming is fading. It’s like, every time she goes out with her girlfriends she comes back drunk and with her clothes all wrinkled, makeup streaked and she gets in the bed and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. Oh wait.”

★★★★
“LOL just Jailbreak your iPhone and run the hacked version of Machina. I let it interpret my nightmares, and they totally came true. I put in my bad dream last Chistmas, and on New Years some of my college buddies died in a house fire. Totally saw it foretold in the Quicktime clips in Machina. Go out and get it, peace of mind.”

★★★
“I have dreamt so long about being a Victorian artistocrat that I have made my own life in real-time devoted to Victorian times. I wear the dresses, put on the wigs, even scrape my teeth with a stick. I’ve read every Jane Austen bio I can get my hands on. Yet, Machina told me my dream (in which I am Lady Edwards of Leeds), means only that I’ve been a carrier for vaginal warts since I was 19.”

★★★★
“How the hell does the app know if I’m having a nightmare or not? I keep dreaming about the sunniest, nicest days, and it’s exactly those dreams of blue skies that fill me with an inescapable dread, as if the ocean might rise in a deathly tidal wave or as if the sun itself might intensify its light and burn the planet to a glowing cinder. That “nice” dream of white clouds and blue skies is the most terrifying vision I have ever experienced in my life, and the app tells me it’s a positive dream. All I can think about is how dread consumes me when I wake from the dream. Someone please help me.”

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